I was ecstatic when I found out one of my girlfriends was having her birthday party at Benny Hanna – I mean, who doesn’t like that place. I received the e-vite, and felt a wave of panic set in as I began to read it in its entirety – please only RSVP if you and your boyfriend are NOT coming. Oh sweet Jesus, it’s a couple’s party. I am one of the two people…that’s right…TWO people without a boyfriend going to this thing. As I reached for the sharpest object near me, I thought, “I guess could be worse…I could have cankles.”
I was out to dinner with a couple of my old college friends. We do this from time to time so we can catch up, eat, and most importantly – drink. They started talking about their plans to go to Vegas for Halloween. I asked who else was going to go, they listed couples. I think the best part of that conversation went a little something like this: “Wow isn’t it weird that everyone’s in relationships now? Ohhh…well, don’t worry Monica, you’ll be in one, one day.” As I ordered another drink and a shot, I thought, “I guess it could be worse…I could have cankles.“
My aunt was in town for a Hawaiian concert – she thankfully had an extra ticket for me. We were out at a noodle house before the thing with her two friends, and the grilling began – where do you work? What do you do? Where do you live? With how many people? Etc. etc. They then decided to bring up the topic of men and asked me, “How are you doing with the boys? I bet you’re just shooing them away.” My answer was “No, not exactly…you see I have this thing called work and it pretty much dominates every aspect of my life. Work right now comes before relationships.” Their response – the local pity-filled, “ohhhh.” I tried thinking of ways to kill myself through noodle inhalation, when I thought, “I guess it could be worse…I could have cankles.”
fanfuckintastic
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